Yes. Cats. As in the small, furry animals. Seriously. They have mastered one great secret to success, and the fact that they are small and furry is a key part of my argument here. Okay, fiiiiiine, I’m a bit of an obsessive cat lady, but I still think I have a solid point. So read on.

I was watching funny cat videos with my Hubs the other night and I noticed a theme. Some people would call it cats being dicks. But I call it cats being THE BOSS. Cats will bitch-slap the shit out of anything or anyone to get what they want. I watched in amazement as cats stood their ground in front of other cats, German Shepherds, horses, bears, mountain lions… I watched all sizes of dogs whimper and whine in fear of passing a cat on the stairs or in the hallway. I watched a cat walk right up to an alligator and bitch-slap it back to the swamp it came from.


Besides a few trivial cucumbers, it seems there’s not much that cats are afraid of.

cats secret to success

Photo Cred:

But no, literally bitch-slapping folks is not the secret to success

In most of the above instances, the cats were realistically in danger of getting eaten or trampled. But what prevailed every time was attitude. Those cats had no fear. They didn’t let their size or adorable furriness stand in the way. They didn’t even allow their food chain status to be a consideration.

And it dawned on me….cats are onto something. If this was a cat’s world, that on-average 6’2” white male Fortune 500 CEO would get bitch-slapped.

In the world of Hollywood, I am definitely an adorable cat. Actually, probably more like a kitten. I am 5’1”, 108 lbs, half-black-half-Mexican, and even though I am 33 years old, I’m constantly told that I look twelve. No, I’m not the bearded, glasses-wearing white male director most people have in mind to head a major film project.

So what? Life is too short to be meek and adorable, or to act out your reputed role as a sweet house cat when you’re a lion in your heart.
SO—for those of you who might appear small and powerless in any way, those of you who would not be presumed to stand at the top of the success food chain, those of you who appear easy to trample:

It’s time to start being THE BOSS.

Just because you’re small doesn’t mean you have to play small. And while I’m talking appearances, this analogy goes far deeper. There are many, many reasons you might identify with being perceived as a “small” person. So get your best bitch-slap ready and change that perception right now.

Don’t take this to mean, however, that you should start being a total dick (and remember, the bitch-slapping thing is only a metaphor). I’m talking about a healthy boss attitude.

Because something else cats do so well is balance. They have a don’t-back-down attitude while also being lovable. They purr and they gaze up at you with those big green eyes and their goddamn adorable fur is oh so soft. Cats know how to work the system. They’ll knock all your shit off the counter, and 10 minutes later they’re sprawled on the couch being petted and pampered.

It’s a dog-eat-dog world, my friends.

So be the cat.

And for your viewing pleasure (in case you haven’t seen it):



One thought on “Cats Have Mastered this One Great Secret to Success

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